You are an important part of your student’s experience on campus.
Students often look to parents for affirmation and approval of their interests and achievements. In fact, students report that they consult their parents more than any other source of social support, including friends and other peers. Your opinions and actions matter to your student, whether related to college choice, career aspirations or lifestyle choices.
Likewise, your attitudes and behavior toward drinking could influence your student's decisions about drinking, cannabis, and other drug use.
Looking for a place to start? Try talking with your student.
Talk together about substance use
Talking to your student about alcohol, cannabis, and other drugs can support them in making better decisions around substance use. These conversations can explore what you each know about the topic, as well as your values and expectations.
- Many U-M students on campus choose not to drink for a variety of reasons. Work with your student to help them find activities or athletic events they can participate in that don’t involve drinking.
- Ask what your student learned in their Community Matters courses. First-year students particularly are required to complete AlcoholEdu, which provides information to students about alcohol and helps them develop skills to make less risky choices around substance use.
- Ask "What if…?" Imagine hypothetical situations, including potentially sticky situations, or use current events, to help you and your student explore how they’d want to respond. This is a great opportunity to explore values and expectations in a non-threatening way.
- Help them develop realistic strategies. Try to develop recommendations that are more specific and detailed than just "Be safe" or "Make smart choices." Refer to our Stay in the Blue campaign for ideas on what these strategies could look like.
- Acknowledge the potential legal consequences for students who drink. What You Need to Know about Laws, Policies, and Ordinances can help you and your student learn about what's legal and what's not.
Be a positive role model
Students often look to parents for affirmation and approval of their own interests and achievements. Think about what your attitudes and behavior around drinking communicate to your student.
- Model the behavior you want to see from your student. When parents are permissive of underage drinking, approve of high-risk drinking behavior, or engage in high-risk drinking behavior themselves, their student is also at higher risk of heavy drinking. Show your student that you can have fun and connect with others without heavy drinking.
- Share consistent messages with your student. Mixed messages from parents such as buying alcohol for their underage student at a tailgate and then lecturing the student about receiving a Minor in Possession (MIP) ticket can increase a student’s risk of heavy drinking.
- Discuss any family history of alcohol misuse with your student. A family history of alcohol misuse can increase a student’s risk of heavy drinking.
Strengthen your relationship
Students consult their parents more than any other source of social support. Regular check-ins can benefit your student (and you!) well beyond their relationship with alcohol and other drugs.
Pro tip! Try scheduling a regular time to talk on the phone or video chat together, even if you text often. You'll learn more about how your student is doing by hearing their tone of voice in real-time.
- Ask about your student’s experiences on campus, such as:
- Inquire what your student does during free time and how relationships with friends and roommate(s) are going.
- Ask about plans for high-risk events such as home football games, Halloween, Fraternity and Sorority rush and birthday celebrations (especially 21st birthdays).
- Refer to the MParents Calendar to better understand what your student may be experiencing, even if your student is not a first-year.
- Ask for your student’s advice and opinions about things going on at home and campus.
- Affirm your student holistically, instead of only affirming their academic achievements. Show appreciation for their autonomy and self-regulation, including when they:
- Make decisions that reflect critical thinking.
- Seek help when needed.
- Develop a value system that is based on their individual goals and desires.
- Allow for an evolving balance of supporting your student’s independence. It is normal for students to start to diverge from your expectations or previous behaviors as they transition into adulthood. This might be best done with a “yes, and” rather than an “either/or” approach. While it can be tricky to find this balance together, it can also be an important opportunity to connect.
Worried about your student?
Most U-M students don’t drink or drink at moderate levels (4 or fewer drinks on a single occasion). However, if you’re worried about your student, there are many resources available to help them explore their alcohol, cannabis, or other drug use privately in a non-judgmental environment.
Use the tips on this page to share your concerns with them in a non-judgmental way. You can also talk about strategies they can use to engage in less risky behaviors.
It is normal and expected for students to develop their own thoughts and behaviors around topics like AOD as they develop autonomy and independence. This is a critical developmental task of college students.
If your student diverges from your expectations around alcohol, cannabis, or other drug use, you may want to clarify that they will need to navigate any negative consequences of their actions, and talk about how you’d want to handle being notified of an AOD-related event.
What if something happens?
When an incident involving alcohol and other drugs occurs, the University of Michigan maintains the discretion to refer students for appropriate educational support to reduce future risk and promote a student’s well-being. This process is administered by the Office of Student Conflict Resolution (OSCR).
The University of Michigan deeply values students and parents/family as essential partners in a wide range of health and wellness issues. The Parent-Family Communication Program notifies the parents/families of first-year students after an incident involving alcohol and other drugs (AOD). This program promotes student well-being moving forward from the incident by connecting loved ones to resources they can use to support their student engage in less risky behavior moving forward.
Learn more about the laws, policies, and ordinances involving AOD.
Interested in continuing the conversation?
Email aod-communication@umich.edu with your questions.